Circle Arrow Whirl

Dear Miriam Kosman,

I have a question - maybe this was covered in one of the classes and I didn’t quite fully understand it, or maybe it’s just personal to me. I’ve always struggled with the the fact that the world is now after the sin of eden it’s a “man’s world” ie we value accomplishments and we only feel good if we’ve accomplished/are accomplishing - and yet I know that the most important thing and main thing is to be in circle mode which we will get to when the world hits its perfection and moshiach comes and we’re slowly but surely getting to it. However i struggle with not feeling good in between the two modes - accomplishing vs being mode, sometimes i feel when I’ve done so much and then I just keep on doing and accomplishing more to feel good, but it’s insatiable, and circle mode is the only thing that really satisfies and calms me, yet i don’t want to go into circle mode, i want to keep accomplishing, and keep bashing myself for all of the things i haven’t yet accomplished. And yet here i am in circle mode with out even realizing it, just being in my emotional space, providing awareness to my state of being. Shining light on the present moment - that’s circle mode, and even as i began to type this question in my fiery arrow accomplish figure out answer to the question mode, unknowingly i slipped into circle mode of observing and seeing my feelings by naming noting and describing them. And this beautiful synergy of accomplishing my circle, accomplishing and being in circle mode at the same time, this is the sweetness i longed to feel for so long. This is the pleasure of accomplishing and feeling satitated, being and feeling accomplished. This is the synergy of taking all of ourselves and putting it where it needs to go. Accomplishing our being. Doing our mode. In the zone. Wow. What an elixir. This is the space that i feel alive, that space of being and yet concretizing it too. It’s not just there for the sake of there, it’s being for the sake of being and yet it willl last. There will be continuity to my mode of being and it will effect and change someone. Maybe even someone reading this right now. Maybe you will take this moment to tune into how you are feeling right now, what you may be wondering worrying or wanting. And maybe you will begin to tap into that space of listening to those thoughts, and raise up the volume on their voice. Listen in. What are they telling me? What have i always wanted to do? That’s not accomplishing, that’s being mode. And you have to do those things to hit the twilight zone of being and accomplishing at the exact same moment to feel like you’ve completely hit transcendence and you are not in this world anymore. Because maybe for that second, you weren’t. Maybe you were a bit higher a bit more elevated, your soul was a bit more raised outside of your body as you became a bit of a bigger person spiritually by tapping into your exact and unique purpose to life - that balance of being and accomplishing. And as you slowly and shakily come back down to earth from that zone of being and accomplishing ing, still feeling so tall and graceful, and like such a huge soul, huge giant of a person- you come down and know that you will never forget that moment, and you will never forget that switch that was turned on inside of you when you found your balance between accomplishing and being, circle and arrow, masculine and feminine. That moment when your soul became whole and knew exactly what it was put down here for. And when you do it - you accomplish that circle, concretize your state, share your soul- then you’ve made it and all you have to do is do it again, and again, and again. Amain.